Be A People Person - my review

As a pastor, I am a leader by job description and by calling.  And while John Maxwell has his fair share of critics (mostly because of other pastors who put too much emphasis on leadership and not enough emphasis on servant-ship), his writings are helpful.  I think John was blessed with the personality and spiritual gifting of leadership and therefore, does intuitively what many of us do not.  Thankfully, he has given decades to helping the rest of us!

I purchased this book at the recommendation of a colleague, as I was looking for a book written from a Christian perspective, in order to study with someone else who was looking to develop their own people skills. At about 150 pages, this short read seemed like an introduction to everything else that Maxwell has written.  His popular themes of maintaining a positive attitude, encouraging others, living with integrity, motivating others, etc. are all present.  As I read, I wondered if this was one of Maxwell's first books, and indeed it was.

I was greatly helped by some of his suggestions and ideas. In the chapter about the characteristics of people with charisma, he teaches that charismatic people regularly show others that they care.  And then he adds this:  "Be more concerned about making others feel good about themselves than you are i making them feel good about you.  In other words, don't try to sell other people on you, try to sell them on themselves."  This line of reasoning is so very helpful, and is really theme of the book - that  to be a people person is to put the emphasis on others.

The chapter of loving difficult people was especially helpful.  Maxwell suggests that we treat others in relation to how we see ourselves.  He writes, "show me a person who sees him or herself in a negative light and I will show you a person who sees others in a negative way."  The implication for getting along?  "When you realize that people treat you according to how they see themselves rather than how you really are, you are less likely to be affected by their behavior."  So true.  So helpful.

In the end, this book serves as a helpful introduction to leadership.  For those who have read a few leadership titles, it will no doubt serve as an inspiring remind of what they already know.

Review and Some Discussion Questions for "I Am A Church Member" by Thom Rainer

I recently listened to an interview in with Thom Rainer shared how surprised he has been by the response to his little book, "I Am A Church Member."  We recently purchased a full box of them and included them in a three week discussion in our small groups.  The response was great!

In this book, Rainer attempts to move from a consumer-oriented view of church membership to a missional orientation.  In other words, being a church member is not about what you get from it (the privileges of membership) but is about what you are able, and expected to give.  As I read the short book, I heard and felt the pain of pastors of decades past who bear the scars from controlling, selfish, and down-right sinful church members demanding to get their way in their church.  Coming from congregational ecclesiology that is often idolized by Southern Baptists, Thom is the guy to write this book!  (Although pastors from any ecclesiology can resonate with his words.

I love Rainer's description of the church as NOT a cruise ship.  (His story about the transition from ocean liners offering practical transportation to luxurious cruise ships offering indulgence.)  Rainer demonstrates that he is in touch with the struggles between pastors and church leaders to keep the mission of the church at the forefront of our minds.

The only negative feedback I have read about this work is that the tone is sometimes harsh and demanding.  Yes, his words are strong.  I wonder if this critique stems from viewing Rainer as a pastor/leader who is vying for the power in the church.  This book might be better received if written from a lay-person.  Regardless, I have heard so many church-loving/serving non-clergy folks praise this book as the book that needs to be read by every church member.

The negative feedback I would add is that the study questions at the end of each chapter are, well, terrible.  Some of them are "duh" questions (in which the answer is so obvious).  The others ask the reader to find several passages in the Bible that support a main point in the chapter.  I am glad they are labeled "study" questions, since they are not "discussion" questions at all.  With the widespread influence of this book, I am surprised that I could not find good group discussion questions anywhere!

So, if it is helpful to anyone, I offer to the world the discussion questions we used in our groups.  There are only a few per chapter, but they seemed to work with our groups.

Feel free to download, edit and use these discussion questions.  If you like them, please leave a comment and let me know if they are helpful!

Discussion Questions set 1

I Am a Church Member - LIFE Groups Week 1

Discussion Questions set 2

I Am a Church Member - LIFE Groups Week 2

Discussion Questions set 3

I Am a Church Member - LIFE Groups Week 3

Jesus, Christmas and Politics

Earlier this week I was privileged to be invited to the Cass County Conservatives Christmas gathering.  This gathering of local politicians and supporters includes some of my friends in town.  In addition to praying the invocation and blessing the meal, they asked me to share a few words about the real meaning of Christmas.  Below are my thoughts.  I hope they will bless you in some way (or at least make you think.)

I have to admit that I am a Christmas junkie.  And not for the reasons that you might assume when you first hear that I am a pastor.  I just love the season!  I love fresh baked cookies that seem to only find their ways out of recipe books in the weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas.  I love the aroma of evergreen and the beauty of green and reds around the house and halls.  Our ornament box contains several that I colored and pasted in elementary school. I even enjoy a good fruitcake  and really enjoy egg nog (minus the rum).  And the music.  Whether hymns, carols or merely songs about snow and sleds.  Some of you might remember Singing along with Mitch Miller and the Gang.  I grew up listening to his Chrismtas record – and now I play the CD every year!

But deep down, and all around, we know there is something more, something deeper, to this season than cookies, greenery and merriment. We discover our deep-seated values.  We find what is most important…what drives us.

If what brings us together tonight is the word, “conservative” let’s think for a moment what that implies.  What exactly are we trying to conserve?  It is our deep-seated values that we long to share with others.  The values that are not personal, but that we believe ought to be shared by neighbors and fellow-citizens.  We value family, especially the importance of the household, or nuclear, family.  We don’t want to see the definition of family changed, as we recognize the importance of a mother and father together raising children in a safe, loving home. And at this Christmas season, we long for family to expand beyond our own four walls as we travel great distances to be with those who are also family.

Our value of freedom also arises during this season.  As we wish for peace, I think specifically of Norman Rockwell’s famous “freedom from fear” painting, featuring a mother and father tucking in their 2 young sons, who sleep peacefully, blissfully unaware of the pain, hurt and fear that others their age around the world face as they lay heads on pillows.

But Christmas is even deeper than the values of family and freedom, as important as those are.  And we are wise, in our increasingly secular culture, to remind each other of the most important element of Christmas, as my son says as he looks into our tabletop nativity set – the little Lord Jesus.  Christmas is about Jesus.  We know and we say it, “Jesus is the reason for the season.”  But what does that really mean?  I fear that for many, the real reason for the season is merely an emotional reaction to a cuddly baby boy born to a carpenter and his young wife.  Who doesn’t love babies?  Others are quick to fast-forward to this baby’s adult teachings and influence.  But could there be more to Christmas than a baby or a pre-requisite to adulthood?  What does the manger say to a group gathered around influencing politics and culture with conservative values?  Can I suggest three ways that we might consider this season, of what is implied by the meaning of Christmas?

1. God is interested in politics.   Contrary to the philosophers of the 18^th century, God is not merely watching the affairs of earth from a disconnected and safe distance.  God is active and involved. He cares.  He hurts with victims and is angered by perpetrators.  AT Christmas, we see God entering humanity, getting his hands dirty, and confronting social and political abuses.  He speaks the truth to Kings and Governors.  God cares about peace and justice, right and wrong, society and government.  And he got involved!  We like this.  In this respect, we feel like we are doing God’s work as we also get involved in politics.  But the next two might challenge us. 
2.  God engaged politics from a highly unlikely position.  If we had positioned Jesus for influence, we would have birthed him in Rome. If necessary, Jerusalem.  But not the tiny village of Bethlehem, and definitely not a stable.  We would have chosen powerful Roman parents, maybe a wealthy Jewish family, but not a poor carpenter. We would have directed the angels to announce his birth to the town elders, not shepherds.  We would have chosen senator-material disciples, not fishermen. 
3. Jesus changed the world through a position of weakness, by giving his own life away.  We tend to value strength, and when absolutely necessary, the taking of life.   But in Jesus, we find a consistent theme.  From a humble birth, to a quiet upbringing, even his teachings promoted giving.  We influence more by serving than by being served, by giving more than receiving.  When we give our lives away, we find gain a life better than we could imagine.  We do not “Lord our influence over others,” which is the Gentile way.  And we see this as the Son of God gave up the comfort of heaven for the discomfort of earth, serving and giving all along the way, even until he breathed his last, on our behalf. 

Christmas changed everything. It really is the most wonderful time of the year.  It is God with us.  It brings life into focus and reminds us of the greatest values worth conserving.  May your Christmas indeed be blessed as you value what is most important!

What is Your Life Mission - One Person's story

During the month of September, we are asking ourselves the important question of, "What is My Life Mission?"  This question has generated a lot of interest and hopefully a lot of God-seeking prayer!

Last Sunday I shared a great video of one person's sense of God's mission for her.  We experienced some technology challenges in our 9 AM service, so if you missed it, or if you just want to see it again, here it is:

Thank You For the Break From Preaching

To My Friends at New Vision Church:

You might be wondering why I thought I needed to take six weeks off from preaching during June and July.  (After all, a pastor only works like one day per week, right?)  First, we have so many good preachers in our congregation (as you have discovered), and I have wanted to give them opportunities to preach, and this series seemed like a good way to do it.  I hope you have enjoyed hearing so many voices and perspectives.

During these weeks, I have not just been sitting by, doing nothing.  The break from weekly preaching allowed me to give extra attention to a few activities:

• I completed a training course on church planting, including certification as a trainer for the course.  I started the course a couple of years ago but was not able to finish it due to ministry responsibilities here at New Vision. (See below for the rest of this story)
• I organized and led the men's spiritual deepening camp out. This is a favorite annual tradition for me, and I was privileged to lead it again!
• In early June, I participated in three days of intensive adult curriculum planning for Nazarene Publishing House.  I had the opportunity to sit around a table with world-class Bible scholars, talking about how to plan lessons for Sunday School teachers to lead studies of the books of Jeremiah, Ephesians and Philippians.  I so much enjoyed the intellectual stimulation of discussing the Bible with scholars and preachers!
• I also wrote an essay that will hopefully be included in a book on the theology of holiness.  A colleague and friend from college is working on a collection of essays that share how young leaders view holiness, which is the special-emphasis of the Church of the Nazarene.  I submitted an essay on the topic of how we need to teach about holiness in terms of both love and behavior.  I will let you know if and when it gets published. (No, I won't earn any royalties on it)
• If there is ever a time to get a short break from preaching, it is during the month of June.  During our June board meeting, we set the church operating budget for the next fiscal year.  This requires a lot of research and planning.  I also have to submit our church's annual report of attendance, finances, and other statistics by July 15th.  Let's just say that June is a paperwork-heavy month.
• I was able to lead the song-worship for our congregation on two Sundays, and it was a lot of fun!  It was good to pick up a guitar again and sing loud!
• In July, during the week before VBS, I was privileged to co-teach the Churches Planting Churches seminar to a group of pastors interested in leading their churches to start new churches.  It was so inspiring to hear how God is moving in the hearts of pastors - and to hear their God-given visions!
• Finally, I have also given a lot of time and thought to planning the preaching and LIFE Groups emphases for the next year.  I am excited about the upcoming message series. We will look at improving our relationships, deepening our faith, understanding the Bible better, and developing a sense of our life's mission.  This fall, I plan to teach an outreach-oriented series on the subject of forgiveness.  Our LIFE Groups will look at several different topics that will also generally relate to the Sunday messages.  Let me know if you would like a sneak peek and I will show you what I have planned.  I would love to hear your feedback.

Finally, thank you for the short break from preaching every Sunday.  While I love to preach God's Word, sometimes my creative juices just don't want to flow.  I tell my friends that in ministry there are no late papers - Sunday morning comes around every week at the same time.  These few weeks without preaching responsibilities have allowed me to rejuvinate a sense of creativity!  I am looking forward to preaching in July!

Again, thank you!  Nu-Vees are the best!

What is the Purpose of Freedom?

Yesterday, on the celebration of the birthday of our great nation, I took a few minutes to read the Declaration of Independence.  It was a bold declaration of the dissolution of all ties between the American colonies and the British Empire.  The underlying theme?  Freedom.  The Constitution that followed, including the attending Bill of Rights, underscore the theme.  We Americans love our freedom.  America... "where at least I know I am free..." right?

We thank God for freedom. As we should.  We thank veterans for sacrificing to secure and maintain our freedom.  As we should.  And every year on the fourth day of July, we stop, celebrate, remember, feast, and blow stuff up.  As we should.

But what should we do about our freedom on the other 364 days of the year?

Evangelical Christians celebrated with extra-wide smiles this week as the Supreme Court upheld our cherished freedom apply to our religious beliefs to all of life, including our businesses.  But how will we use our freedoms?

If we thank God for our political, economic and religious freedoms, maybe we should ask him what he wants us to do with them! Then again, maybe he has already told us.  In the short letter to the Galatians, the Apostle Paul argues that the Christian life is one of freedom, not rules.  But after Paul made a great case for spiritual freedom, he warned his friends against the human tendency to  use freedom for selfish purposes.  He writes, "You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love."  (Galatians 5:13 (NIV)) I realize, of course, that he is not speaking of the political freedoms guaranteed by the documents written by Benjamin Franklin and friends.  But the warning aptly applies.  There is great temptation to abuse any kind of freedom, to use it for our own self-indulgent purposes.

In the light of the Supreme Court's ruling in the Hobby Lobby case, we Christians have a choice.  We can use our freedom to keep more for ourselves or to give more to others.  We can use our freedom to blast our opinions or to speak speak more often about Jesus.  We can use our freedom to serve others or to serve ourselves.  We can raise our standard of living, or help others to raise theirs. What if the world around us saw us leveraging our freedom for the benefit of others?  What if we could re-shape the American dream from "freedom to get more" to "freedom to give more?"

By the way, this theme is found throughout the Bible.  When God blesses, he expects us to share the blessings.  Unshared blessings quickly dry up.  When the Israelites wondered what happened to the blessings of God, he sent prophets.  One prophet observed their self-indulgent lifestyles, evidenced by furniture upgrades, wine, fine cuisine and fancy lotion, and then he prophesied exile - the ultimate loss of freedom.  (Check out Amos 6:1-7)

The purpose of freedom is to serve others humbly in love.  Having celebrated our freedom, how should we live?  Serve.  Give.  Go. Worship.  (By the way, Jesus told us numerous times that this kind of live is also the most enjoyable.)

Leadership, Humility & Brokenness: A Tale of Three Kings

Leadership.  We love it and we hate it.  The feelings that rise in our souls when we hear the word are usually the responses to our experiences - good or bad.  We cringe as we think of bad leaders who manipulated, berated, or abused us.  We smile as we remember the leaders who inspired us to be and do more than we ever thought possible.  Unfortunately, bad memories linger longer and deeper than the good ones, so for many people, leadership is a necessary evil.  We often take the phrase, "absolute power corrupts absolutely" and expand it to just, "power always corrupts."  But maybe not.

In "A Tale of Three Kings" pastor and author Gene Edwards shares the story of David, the shepherd-King of Israel, and shows his response to both Saul and to his son Absalom.  His theme is clear - David did not grasp for power, he did not fight to get power, nor to retain power.  He trusted that God is ultimately in control and gives and takes power away to whom, from whom, and whenever he wants it.

This is my second time to read this good book.  I recently lead a men's campout/retreat and this was the required prerequisite reading.  Needless to say, this got the guys talking because it touches on so many tender spots in the male psyche:  painful memories, desire for revenge/justice, our call to leadership, and our longing for significance.

The books talks a lot about the pain we endure at the hands of others (especially bad/abusive leaders).  The author suggests that while pain is not good, it is useful in that God uses our painful situations to break us down in order to be completely dependent on him.  He even goes so far as to say, "God did not have-but wanted to have-men and women who would live in pain.  God wanted a broken vessel."  While I think the second sentence is true - I am not sure that God wants us to live in pain.  It does seem like most of us are not broken and humble without some pain.

The books talks a lot about our desire for revenge when we have been wronged, attacked or abused.  The example described is Saul's habit of throwing spears at David.  The author reminds us that David could have pulled the spear out of the wall and thrown it right back at Saul - revenge - and that he would have been justified at doing so.  But- and here is a great insight - by doing so, he would have put himself in the "order" or way-of-doing-things of Saul.  This is a great reminder that while we can call it "justice," it is really more like revenge when we are seeking it on our own behalf. 

The books also deals with our desire for leadership.   We rightly desire to lead and to influence - but the author asks us if our prayers for influence come from truly good motives - and to examine our real motives for power and control.

This book is a great read for anyone who finds themselves in a position of leadership or authority.  For the one who has been called or somehow thrust into a position of leadership, this is important to read.  For the one who enjoys leading and influencing, this is a good reminder and opportunity to examine one's true motives.  For the person who resists the call to leadership, this book presents a positive vision for leadership that is centered on character not charisma. 

From a formal theological perspective, there are a couple of things to know going into the book.  As I read it, I kept thinking, "this author comes from the Baptist/Reformed tradition, but has strong pietist/revivalist tendencies!"  This combination of influences is not common.  I saw the Baptist/Reformed theological influence throughout the book as the author suggested that David didn't seek power or resist his son's rebellion because he just believed that God was Sovereignly pulling the strings. The pietist influence came through as he exalted weakness, suffering, praying more and doing less, etc.  They Wesleyan/Arminiam reader will merely have to say, "I can't agree with how far he pushes God's sovereignty," but will appreciate the pietist influence!  It would be foolish to dismiss the book because of a differing view on the extent of God's sovereignty! 

There are points at which the convergence of these 2 influences almost goes too far, but the reader must understand the narrow purpose of this book.  (Because of the author's strong statements, it can be easy to misunderstand his purpose).  The author is not suggesting that Christians should never resist or fight against evil!  He is not suggesting a passive spirituality that is all prayer and no action!  A short reading of the life of David easily refutes it.  The author is only attempting to speak to our desire for personal power and personal ambition!  And when this limited scope is kept in mind, we discover a message that we all need to hear!

The greatest take-away for me was the reminder to guard my heart.  I wonder if so many fallen religious leaders just became so busy, stressed, and overloaded with decisions and meetings, that they lost their way.  At one point, the author suggested that those who lead by way of "rules" and by reminding everyone around them about their authority, are not really leading.  Leading by way of rules and position is the easy way out, the cop-out.  But sometimes I just get too weary from meetings, making decisions, answering emails, and returning phone calls, and I default to the easy way out.  And I can imagine that years of that results in burnout and failure.  I am reminded to guard my heart, and regularly seek God, asking him to reveal to me my true motives, and to correct in me any impure motives.