Last Sunday we visited a thriving church in Westport. While it wasn't one of the churches I planned to visit during Sabbatical, I have been there for a few pastors meetings, have talked to several people who worship there and love it, and was invited by a friend who has been attending recently. The lead pastor is an amazing guy in his mid thirties- deep, strategic, and very down to earth. This church is reaching twenty and thirty-somethings by the droves. And they don't hold back- the sermon focused on a passage of Scripture where Paul tells wives to submit to their husbands. The preacher was sensitive to the tension produced by the subject, and he acknowledged the historical and cultural abuses of the text, but preached the text faithfully, practically, and with passion.
While driving home, Erica asked me what I thought. My only response: "I didn't like it." Why? The style of worship just wasn't my thing. Now I am not talking about music, but music is an element of worship. I struggle to genuinely connect with God through a service of worship that might be labeled "formal," "traditional," "Word and Table," "liturgical," "worship renewal," etc. (I am well aware of the multiple meanings and applications of each of these terms, so just imagine a composite of them.) The music featured mostly old and new hymns with only a piano and cello accompaniment. (I am told that the music changes each week, though). Communion followed the preaching. The mood was quiet with low energy. I guess when it comes to worship, I prefer energy and emotion and simplicity. When I have to think hard about the words and phrases I am using to speak to God, I get lost in the words and lose focus on the object of those words, God himself.
But even as I shared my thoughts with Erica, and even now as I write this 3 days later, I feel checked in my spirit. I am talking about worship (a God-centered thing), yet most of my thoughts are me-centered. Isn't that kind of backwards? Yes, it is. It also reveals some selfishness. Worship: it is not about me!
So which is better? Worship that suites me or worship that doesn't? I guess the real question is, what kind of worship does God prefer? Jesus talked about God's desire for worshipers to worship in Spirit and in truth. (John 4) How about an analogy. Worship is often described as an offering given to God- a gift. So when Christmas rolls around, what kind of gifts do I prefer to receive? I like to receive the gifts that are on my list. I feel special when Erica gives me special coffee beans, even though she detests the taste and even smell of coffee (there is just something special about a gift given out of love when the content of the gift is disliked by the giver.) I also really like it when Erica shops for a shirt that she likes but that she knows that I like, too. I think worship is similar. After all, God is a person therefore we are connected to him through a personal relationship, where both parties needs and preferences are important. Granted, he is the master and I am the servant.
Okay, so back to my church visit. Yes, I genuinely worshiped God. Could I do it that way every week? Yes. Should I? I am not so sure. In the end, I still think that God provides different kinds of churches for different kinds of people-all imperfect - and none of them customized around my preferences - but all churches that should help me grow out of my selfishness.
And no, I am not going to tell you what the name of the church was because they are doing such great things for God that I wouldn't want my opinion and experience to sway you.
Note: I think after my final church visit on November 7 I will write a blog entry on how to choose a church- based on my experiences at all of these churches.
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