My Day As A WatchD.O.G.

Today I spent the day at Olivia's school as a WatchD.O.G.  This program encourages dads to be involved in the education of their children by spending an entire day at school. Today was my day.  Olivia was so excited! Since last week She has been counting down the days.

I began my day in the gym as the students waited for their teachers to take them to class.  Olivia proudly stood next to me as they introduced her dad as the WatchDog for the day.  The computer teacher took our picture to be placed on the WatchDog wall of fame.  Then the work began.  The first Kindergarten recess was crazy. After I zipped up a few jackets, a student asked me to push her on the swing.  Soon the swing set was filled with kids all needing pushes.

After recess, it was time to help a few teachers.  I read a book with three third-graders and discussed its content to help them with comprehension.  Then it was lunchtime.  For two hours I opened yogurt containers, retrieved silverware, and joked around with students.  I purchased a lunch on Olivia's student account and sat with her and her class. Do you know how difficult it is to eat a mixed green salad with a spork? After lunch,  I helped with the afternoon Kindergarten recess.  More swing-pushing.  Before I could get inside to help another teacher, Olivia and the first graders came out for recess.  Guess what?  More swinging.  And some tag.  Finally, near end of the day, I helped a teacher by reading a test to a student and helping another student with a math worksheet.  It was nice to provide some needed individualized attention so that the teacher might tend to the entire class.

My time at Raymore Elementary served much more than to just provide an extra hand to teachers and staff. It also helped me to better understand  my daughter's days at school.  After watching teachers work so patiently with difficult students, I appreciate all the more just how great all of those teachers are.

I really like the WatchD.O.G. Program.  I could tell that the students are used to having dads in their school to help the teachers and to have fun.  All day I heard, "hey, WatchDog can you help me?"  Several times throughout the day I thought about my colleague and friend, Donnie Miller.  After several years in pastoral ministry he sensed that God was leading him in a new direction and took a job teaching in an elementary school in the urban core of Kansas City. It was a terrible experience.  You can read of his experiences in this  blog post.  Given Donnie's description of the environment of his school, I am guessing that they do not have an active WatchDog program.  But I can't help but to imagine that it would radically improve the school if the fathers of the students would invest one or two days per year in their children's education.

Dads, it is time for us to get involved in all aspects of our kids' lives.  If your child's school has a WatchD.O.G. program, sign up for a day.  No program? Talk to your principle or PTA President. I signed up for another day next February.  I am looking forward to it already.  Olivia is probably already counting down the days.

I Believe In Public Schools - Part 3 - Why 'C' Students Rule the World

I am a nerd and always have been.  I am pretty sure one of my school pictures features my brown, plastic-rimmed glasses, my hair slicked-back with the help of too much gel, and the only thing missing from the picture is a pocket protector.  By the end of high school, my transcript displayed only A's, a class ranking of 1, and an ACT composite that was well within the 99th percentile.  College was similar, with a solitary B that I earned while in high school taking a college class. (I still regret transferring that class.  I should have just taken the CLEP test and saved my transcript the embarrassment of an inferior grade.)

All of that is only important because of what comes next:  it turns out that good grades are not the greatest factor influencing success.

In my previous posts, I addressed the concerns that are raised, mostly by Christians, regarding the morality of the atmosphere in public schools.  In this post, however, I want to address the other concern: the quality of education.  I often hear parents claim that they can do a better job of teaching in their children in three hours per day the material than the school teaches in six.  Some parents insist on a private school education because of its superior curriculum and results.  After all, what good parent would not want their child to get the best education possible?  The assumption is that if their children are surrounded by higher-performing students, taught by better teachers, and led by better administrators, then they will get better test scores and have greater chances of success.  But is this assumption true?

In 1995, psychologist Daniel Goleman published a book entitled Emotional Intelligence.  A person's emotional intelligence quotient (their EQ) is based on 5 factors: self-awareness, self-regulation, social skill, empathy, and motivation.  He argued that a person's (their EQ) is a better predictor of success than is their intelligence quotient (their IQ).    Psychologists and researchers have hotly debated his claims over the predictive value of a person's EQ, but they do not question the significance of these factors.  Note that 2 of the 5 are social skills, and 2 more highly influence a person's social skills.

Related to education, we have assumed for years that the best and brightest go on to achieve the highest measure of success.  But it is just not true.  Why do so many scientists, inventors, business owners, and even world leaders have embarrassing transcripts?  Because it ends up that C students really do rule the world.  Why?  Because while the A students were sitting alone reading books and writing papers, the C students were hanging out with their friends, partying, playing sports and learning teamwork, conversation skills, leadership, conflict resolution, and a whole host of other social skills.  And now, in the real world, they are able to flourish because they work well with people.  Whether we like it or not, the work-a-day world is collaborating and working in teams.  Office walls are torn down and even managers are expected to work in open floor plans.  Students in Harvard business school are never alone even from the first day of entering the program.  Why?  Because success is really determined by how well we work with others.

This is not to say that academics are not important.  A diploma is not just a piece of paper.  It suggests that a person has been exposed to a class of ideas and has demonstrated a set of core competencies and understanding.  But that is about it.  After graduate school I was called to serve a church. (That is preacher-speak for, "I got a real job.")  And they never even looked at one transcript! 

I believe in public schools because they provide the greatest opportunities for social interaction and for building social skills.  Compared to private schools, public schools offer an unmatched range of diversity, pushing students to learn how to work and get along with others who are richer, poorer, faster, slower, popular, overlooked, of all different religions, native backgrounds and moral influence.  The public school, like no other institution, provides a place where our kids can best develop academically and socially.

I am not looking forward to the day one of my children comes home with tears inflicted by a bully.  But bullying is not reserved for minors.  Bullies grow up and learn sophisticated adult bullying techniques. Learning to handle a bully is not a social skill reserved for children.  But I am guessing that adults who learned to handle bullies in a healthy way while they were young  do a better job of it as adults.  Which brings us back to the idea of the secure base.  If we, as parents, will provide a secure base at home for our children, from which we launch them daily and then wait for them to return, they will be well-equipped to grow academically and socially while attending public schools.

I Believe In Public Schools (Part 2)

So here is the summary of Part 1: Jesus purposefully and strategically did not and does not extract his followers from a sinful world, but leaves us here to influence the world for good, for God and to invite sinners to accept and follow Jesus.  I proposed that this applies to our children, and that their "world" in which they can influence for good is their public school.

The popular objection to this argument often sounds something like this:  Our kids are too young and impressionable to be subjected to such huge responsibilities.  They need to be protected and nurtured in a safer environment.  Later, when they are strong and mature, they will be able to influece the world.

That objection sounds reasonable until we re-read the Bible chapters I referenced earlier (John 14-17).  Jesus speaks to his followers in a peculiar tone: he speaks constant re-assurance, acknowledging their fear of living without him by their side.  In chapter 17 he prays three times for their protection!  He does not treat his followers like strong, capable men.  On the contraary, he acknowledges that in their faith they are young, weak, immature and in need of protection!  By way of analogy, Jesus does not ask his children to hide away in safety, waiting to interact and influence the world until they are mature. Plus, he simply trusts that his Father will protect them as they mature.  I wonder if our fear of public schools is really an indicator of our lack of trust in God's protective power?

There is also a practical response to this objection.  At what point in my child's life will he/she really be ready to face to realities of the mean, cruel world?  Let's face it; we can't shelter our kids forever.  Eventually they will grow up, move away from the safety of the commune we call home and be faced with the darkness of our world.  And last I checked, neither a high school diploma nor the arrival of an 18th birthday include a magic potion labeled, maturity, wisdom and perseverance. It seems to me that the structured environment of a six-hour school day followed by eighteen hours at home is a great combination of environments in which our kids can graually learn how to resist evil and influence the world for good.

Psychiatrist John Bowlby proposed a great theory to help parents.  In his theory, healthy parents create a secure base at home, in which their kids are loved, nurtured, fed, disciplined, etc.  When those children know they have a secure base waiting for them at home, they can have the confidence to face difficulties, try new activities, take risks, etc.  Applied to school, children can endure temptation and even thrive in a difficult place because the safety of home is coming soon. 

So here is my proposal:  Send your kids to public schools.  Create a warm, safe, loving home for them to return to.  Stay in constant communication regarding their experiences at school, both good and bad.  Talk through their difficulties.  Help them process their conflict and coach them on how to respond. Encourage them to take risks and try new things!  Be there to cheer them on and be the first to pick them up when they fall!  

Or, I suppose you could also just sit on the couch every night and complain about how the schools aren't doing a good job raising your children for you.

Next, in Part 3:  ACT's, IQ, and why C students rule the world.

I Believe in Public Schools (Part 1)

I remember the question very clearly.  Olivia was only a year old, and we were enjoying dinner with some friends whose daughter was the same age.  "So are you going to send Olivia to public schools?" Thankfully, Erica and I had talked often about this issue before having children, and we were in firm agreement: "Yes."  And the reason is not just because we are cheap for a private school or too lazy to homeschool.

It turns out that this strong, affirmative answer surprises some folks.  Many just assume that a conservative pastor would automatically send his kids to a Christian school, or maybe even homeschool his kids.  No.  And in this short series of posts, written on this first week of Olivia's first-grade experience, I will attempt to explain why I believe in public schools.  (Disclaimer: this is not an attempt to condemn those who choose private schools or homeschooling- it is just the reasoning behind our decision.)

My first reason comes from my core belief that as followers of Jesus, we are called to influence our world for good, for God, for Jesus and his Kingdom.  And, believe it or not, so are our children.  In the Bible, in the book of John, throughout chapters 14-17, we find a lot of red ink.  Those are the words directly from the mouth of Jesus.  In those chapters, Jesus works hard to encourage his followers that they really will be okay as he leaves them, both through his death, and especially after his acension to heaven.  In John 17:11 he makes this very clear as he prays to his Father: "I will remain in the world no longer, but they are still in the world, and I am coming to you. Holy Father, protect them by the power of your name..."  Jesus is going. His followers are staying...for at least a little while.  We also find out the reason:  Jesus expects his followers to take his message to the ends of the earth. They can't do that if he takes them with him.  And the same is for us. 

When we pray the sinners prayer and put our trust in Christ, we are not immediately tele-transported to the safety and holiness of heaven.  We stay, grow, and tell others!  It is also clear that we are not to shut ourselves out from the world in order to remain holy or not be influenced at all from the world.  In fact, in the Bible, and especially in the book of John, "the world" that we are "in" is usually a reference to the dark, sinful, broken, realm of human society.  In short, the world is our mission field!  And missionaries don't sit safely at home behind locked doors!  They go out into the world and make a difference!

I believe this applies to our children.  I want Olivia and Easton to make a difference in their world.  I want them to set the example for their classmates in how they treat their teachers, other students, the bullies and the picked-on.  I want them to tell their friends about Jesus, and his great love for them.  I want them to invite their friends to church.  On the negative side, it seems just a tad hypocritical for Christians to yank their kids (and their kids' good influence) from public schools and then turn around and criticize public schools as cesspools of evil.  Duh!  That is like making a withdrawal from your bank account and then complaining to the bank manager because your balance didn't go up!

"But Jason," you might argue, "that is fine and dandy for us strong, mature adults, but should our young and impressionable children be forced to endure such a sinful world?  They are so impressionable at their age!  Shouldn't we provide them a safe, secure, environment in which they can grow to maturity, and then go out into the mean cruel world?"  Good question!  I will address it in part 2.