Last Sunday I preached on Samson - as in the Old Testament character who was a mix of Superman's strength, G.I. Joe's military prowess, the Incredible Hulk's rage, and Fabio's hair. The sermon was a bit long, and a few parts hit the cutting room floor and were not picked up again. But I can't stop thinking about this one element: Samson Was Lonely!
Leadership consultants (in both the church and business worlds) teach the same truth - Leadership is lonely! As one progresses up the "ladder" there are fewer and fewer people to answer to and go to for advice until, at the top, it feels like there is no one. And with greater responsibility comes fewer options. Leadership is lonely! You think I'm kidding - here is one of many articles.
When I look at the life of Samson, and especially his pitfalls, it seems obvious that he was a lonely guy. Okay, I realize that the Bible never says it specifically, but it really is not difficult to see. Most people took the Nazarite vow for a limited time - Samson lived the vow for a lifetime. Which means that most of his friends saw him as some kind of religious extremist. I can begin to relate to that. Sometimes I purposely do not tell people that I am a pastor because I know that as soon as I do, they will get all weird around me, like they aren't good enough to be around me (which just feels like I don't "fit in."). How do you think it felt for Samson? He probably had no friends.
Samson couldn't even find a girlfriend among his own people. I know the Bible tells us that God was working to get Samson "in" with the Philistines, but still - Samson didn't know that - he just wanted a wife and couldn't find one. When he got married, he didn't even have friends to join him as his groomsmen, but was given 30 "friends." Later, after that whole wedding fiasco, we find him visiting a prostitute. What kind of men visit prostitutes? Lonely ones. Finally, he gives away the secret of his strength to the gold-digging Delilah. I wonder if he saw it coming, or if he ignored the giant-red-flags-with-blinking-lights because he just wanted to feel loved by someone.
Yep- Samson was lonely. And like so many lonely leaders, he compromise his integrity and lost all credibility and influence.
If you are a leader and you are feeling a bit lonely, welcome to the club. But you can't stay lonely for long. Or at least you must pro-actively work to address it. In addition to the one above, here are a few articles that can help.
7 Ways to Help Prevent Leadership Loneliness Lonely and Dangerous
It's Time To Acknowledge CEO Loneliness
The suggestions are not genius, though. We already know them. We
already want them. We just think we are too busy. We think we can't
make the time. But maybe we should ask those who have gone before us
and never made the time...until they really lost everything and everyone
with a few bad decisions.
I keep thinking that Samson could have been so much more of an influence. He could have lead his people for forty years, not just twenty. He could have lead them back to God, not just to temporary reprieve from Philistine invasion.
Oh, what might have been, had loneliness not taken its toll.
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