Quiet - Introverts Everywhere are Applauding

Do you hear it?  One third of the population is standing, applauding this monumental work by Susan Cain.  You probably can't hear it.  The applause is subdued, but heart-felt.  Most of the applauders are standing alone in their living room, a fire crackling in the fireplace, and the television is off.  They like it that way - the alone part, the fireplace part, and non-television part.  They are the introverts of the world, and they just finished reading the first book dedicated to explaining their sensitive, reflective selves.   The book is entitled,Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking



At 268 pages of text, 271 End Notes, and a full index, the book covers a lot of material, and much of it in depth.  The book is no dry textbook, though.  Susan Cain shares much of her own story, including her discovery of her strengths and weaknesses as an introverted attorney. She shares her journey to understand those similar to her, the introverts in the world.  Throughout much of the book she shares her firsthand accounts of meeting the researchers who have spent their careers understanding introversion and extroversion.

I was hooked in the introduction.  A quick self-assesment concluded that I, indeed, fit the bill for introversion.  I couldn't agree more with statements like,"I dislike small talk, but I enjoy talking in depth about topics that matter to me, " and "I prefer not to show or discuss my work with others until it's finished."

In the first part of the book, Cain attempts to illustrate what she calls the "American Extrovert Ideal," by highlighting the work of Dale Carnegie ("How to Win Friends and Influence People"), business models that force employees to work in teams, and business schools that coerce the "quiet kids" into constant collaboration.  Cain even visited an evangelical mega-church and concluded that much of American Christianity doesn't work for introverts.  She almost lost me in this first section.  The tone was humorous, but still a bit reactionary.  I realize that she was building her case, but in doing so, her conclusions were much too broad.  For instance, in the area where I have the most experience, the Church, I think she got it wrong!  In fact, in reflection on her mega-church visit, she quotes her host - a fellow introvert and pastor (who does not attend the church they visited) who says, "There was no emphasis on quiet, liturgy, ritual, things that give you space for contemplation."  Hence, their discomfort in a public worship service.  Were they to dig deeper, they would find that this church teaches those contemplative practices to their members as they grow in their faith.  And while I am a raging introvert, I have to say that I do not prefer to worship publicly in a quiet setting featuring formal liturgy.  To suggest that introverts prefer a certain style of worship is to push general conclusions too far.  And if this was the case in an area where I have a bit of knowledge, I wonder where else this was the case.  However, she makes a strong case for the struggle of most introverts to find their place in American culture.

In part two, Cain shares some of the relevant research on introversion.  I especially connected with the research of Jerome Kagan.  Kagan discovered that introverts tend to be very sensitive to external stimuli- almost over-stimulated - in that we observe everything around us, and then, having reached stimuli-capacity quicker than the extroverts around us, we need to retreat to a non-stimulating place in order to reflect, rest, and re-charge our ability to be stimulated.  Kagan noted especially that introverts are very alert, very sensitive, and experience complex emotions. That is so me!

Cain's book is not just stories and theory.  In part four, she suggests strategies and practices that introverts can adopt to thrive and succeed in a world that is often uncomfortable for them.  She shares the secret to public speaking (and no, it has nothing to do with imagining the audience's clothing, or lack thereof).  She shares networking strategies for introverts who really want to "work a room."  Finally, she shares strategies for parenting an introvert.  (I think I have one - I better re-read this chapter)  I would suggest that the reader only read the chapters in this section that directly interest them.  Honestly, the book feels a little too long at this point.

I heartily recommend this to any introvert who wants to better understand themselves and learn to succeed in a world filled with extroverted success.  I would also recommend it to the spouse of an introvert.  This work will remain a standard for years!

Required FTC Disclaimer: I received this book for free from WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group for this review.  That means they gave me a free copy of the book in exchange for my honest opinion about it.