Joshua: The Original G.I. Joe?

As a young boy in the 1980's, I grew up watching GI Joe defend America from its enemies and Luke Skywalker destroy the Death Star.  When Arnold Schwarznegger's Commando played on television, I recorded it and proceeded to wear out the tape through hundreds of viewings.  Cap guns, homemade swords and green plastic army guys filled my toy boxes.  Soldiers were heroes and war was glorious!

Then one of the teenagers who attended our church graduated and joined the military.  During some leave time he was back at home, and while at church one Sunday I grilled him with three hundred questions, trying to get a firsthand account of the glory of war.  Neither his responses nor the look on his face displayed much glory.

In the Bible, the book of Joshua displays more testosterone than any other book of the Bible.  There is war everywhere and God's people almost always win.  I remember reading the entire book when, as a 7th grader, I read through the entire Bible.  After reading all of the laws and regulations of Leviticus and Numbers, and then the repeat of those same laws in Deuteronomy, I was ready for some adventure - and I found it in Joshua.  It was exciting, adventurous and full of adrenaline!  This was the real deal - G.I. Jo(shua), the Real Israelite Hero!  (In fact, for men who think the Bible is a book for sissies, I refer them to Joshua.)

This summer, I have been spending time in the book of Joshua again.  Kick-started by a weekend campout/retreat with a bunch of guys from church in which we studied the first few chapters of the book, I slowly read through the rest of it during my quiet time with God.

I think I have changed, though, from that naive child enthralled by the imagined glory of war.  Joshua has not been fun, nor easy, to read.  I have heard too many firsthand accounts of the horrors of war.  Stories of a scared young man fighting in the Pacific Theater of the second World War.  Lifelong pain and confusion stemming from experiences in Vietnam.  Holding the bullet that ripped through the chest of a friend in Afghanistan.  And these are the stories of survivors - I don't have personal stories of those who didn't come home.  But there are thousands....  Soldiers are still heroes, and I respect them for their bravery and I appreciate the freedom they have defended for me and gained for others.  But war has lost its glory. 

As I read the stories of war in Joshua, I wonder if the Israelite soldiers struggled for the rest of their lives with Post-traumatic Stress Disorder, waking up with nightmares, trying to love their wives while fighting back the memories of bloody swords and screaming, dying men.  Or did God wash their memories of the horror since they were doing as he commanded?  I am not sure. (By the way, I do realized that it is difficult to reconcile God's command to war with Jesus' command to love your enemies - but that is a discussion for another day.  For the purpose of this discussion, I am merely taking the story at face value).

I think this is part of the growing process.  While the Bible does present God's truth very objectively, our connection with that truth is influenced by our subjective experiences.  This does not mean that we get to pick and choose our truth, nor are we the final judges of what is true or untrue, but our feelings and questions of God's truth are influenced by our life experiences, relationships, and influences.  And the passage that I used to enjoy I now find very troubling.  And I hope that this is the evidence that God is still shaping and molding me into his glorious ideal.