Lord, Teach Us To Number Our (Mon)days

I hate Mondays. Most people do. We despise the Monday morning alarm that propels us into another week of work. I, on the other hand, am at home on Mondays. Sunday is my biggest day of the week, with lots of stress, people, responsibilities, etc. And being the introvert that I am, I am drained and useless by bedtime on Sunday night. On Monday morning I really would like to have some free, quiet, relaxing time. But I don't get it. At 7:00 AM I hear the pitter-patter of little feet descending the stairs. And here goes another day. Get Easton out of bed. Feed 2 kids breakfast. Fit in a bath for the kids. Take a quick shower during Easton's morning nap. Try to wash, dry and fold 6 loads of laundry. Maybe do something fun with the kids so we don't go crazy. Make dinner. Bed time. Pay some bills and balance the checkbook. Then get ready for my work week. Ugh.

So yesterday morning I was brushing my teeth, feeling grumpy, and thinking about how when Olivia goes to school we will have to get up even earlier. Every day. Great. Less sleep is just what I need.

And then it hit me. She goes to kindergarten next August. And while it will be nice in many ways, our carefree, have fun, playing paper dolls, painting, watching cartoons in our pajamas until 10 AM days will be gone . . . forever. We will only have summer breaks and a few hours after school. And the free time in those hours will continue to diminish.

While the selfish part of me really wants Mondays all to myself, when I think about it, Mondays have allowed for some great memories- lots of trips to the park, Deanna Rose farm, the library, etc.

So I looked at my calendar today. I have 35 more Mondays until life with Olivia changes forever and she climbs into a big yellow bus. My New Year's resolution? 35 great, fun-filled memories with no complaints and no regrets.

"Lord, teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom." (Psalm 90:12)

Jesus on the top shelf

I don't have cable or satellite television, so I have to go on vacation to watch cool shows like Pawnstars or American Pickers. But sometimes when I am at home and the kids are not pleading for some animated flick, I catch an episode of Antiques Roadshow. The episode I saw a few weeks ago must have been a special one, because all of the items shown featured the appraiser saying, "this is the nicest one of these that I have ever seen." I remember one item in particular. The guy lived in Texas and brought in a pair of matching black pottery bowls. The appraiser oohed and aahed over their condition, quality, and the really cool glazing technique used. It seems that they were made by Native Americans living in southwest area of the United States. The owner mentioned that he hoped to one day hand them down to his girls- one bowl for each of them. The appraiser said that their real value came from their being a matched set- something he had never seen. Their value as a set? $45,000! The owner was blown away.

Then came the real kicker. The appraiser asked the man where he kept this treasure. "Oh, sitting on top of the china cabinet. We thought they looked nice there."

I am guessing he no longer keeps the bowls sitting out on top of a cabinet. Having learned their true value, they are no longer mere decorations.

I think we do the same thing with the most valuable, irreplaceable items in our lives. We place our kids on the top shelf while we build our careers. We let our friends sit on shelves, and then give our real attention to our favorite friends on television. Sadly, we also let Jesus decorate our lives. If we only could realize his inestimable value . . .

I used to sing a song about this:
Lord You are more precious than silver
Lord You are more costly than gold
Lord You are more beautiful than diamonds
And nothing I desire compares to you.

Knowing Christ & Pen pals

Last Sunday I preached from Philippians 3:10, "I want to know Christ . . ." The power of this verse is in what it affirms- we can know the person of Christ and we do not have to settle for knowledge about Christ. Therein lies the basis for a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. This also defeats the idea that Christianity is just a bunch of religious activity. I love this verse. But it is also difficult.

When I preach I try to imagine the objections. You know, the "yeah, but what about . . ." kind of comments. And I try to deal with them. There is a huge objection or roadblock with this verse and the grand idea behind it. We usually think of personal relationships in terms of our face-to-face encounters. Relationships are built through time together in which we talk to each other. So . . . a relationship with God should equal face time and talking, right? Except that Jesus no longer walks on earth, and neither his Father nor the Spirit have visible bodies. Next, few people have heard the audible voice of God pulsing through their eardrums. And lots of people claim to have heard God's "voice," and many of them are crazy. So "hearing" from God is difficult. So how can I have a relationship with an invisible who tends not to speak very often? My fear is that most people give up before trying.

I tried to address this very quickly in my message, but I am not sure I really "nailed it." So let me try it this way. Somewhere I read a story about a young woman who began writing letters to a sailor, maybe through a military pen pal program. He wrote back, and the two of them exchanged lots of letters. The sailor became enamored with this woman who wrote so beautifully, and when his tour was finally over they arranged a meet-up. But how would they recognize each other? She told him that she would meet him at the dock and she would be wearing a red silk scarf. On the long-awaited day, the sailor disembarked and began looking for his friend. He saw a woman with red silk scarf, but she did not look anything like he imagined. She was rather unattractive. Nevertheless he approached the woman and introduced himself. She replied, "I don't know who you are, but the young woman standing over there by the lamp asked me to stand here wearing her scarf, and if a sailor approached I should direct him to her." She gave him the scarf and he walked to the woman near the lamp, who was as beautiful as he had imagined. Yes, it had been a test and he had passed. They spent time together, married, and lived happily ever after.

Now the story has many levels of meaning, but here is how it applies to knowing Christ. Here is merely one example of thousands of long-distance relationships that develop with no face time and without ever hearing the person's voice. But they are relationships indeed. And the depth of the relationship developed by mere letters increases the anticipation and joy of the eventual meet-up.

Can we do this with God? I can take a journal and write a letter to God. Then I can open my Bible and find hundreds of pages of his "letters" to me- ready for me to read and enjoy as he reveals himself and his thoughts, his likes and dislikes. Then I can write back. And back and forth we go, a kind of pen pal relationship with the God of the universe. In fact, for those saints whom we admire because they seem to really know God and enjoy him, I believe this is how it happened for them. Which helps me understand why they are so excited for heaven, the ultimate meet-up.

How To Choose a New Church

So, you are church shopping? Cash, check, or charge? By the way, in some churches, its "no shirt, no shoes, no service." Okay, seriously now, I am writing this after visiting 6 churches in the last 2 months. No, I was not looking for a new church. I was on sabbatical from New Vision Church and I wanted to see what other churches were doing. So I went to some of the biggest and most popular. Having been on the other side of the pulpit for a few weeks I thought I would offer a few suggestions for you who are looking for a new church. (Plus, I promised I would do this, so here it is . . .)

First, let me ask you a question. Why do you think you need a new church? You moved to a new area and your former church is too far away? You haven't been going to any church, but you want to start? Okay, those are good reasons. Keep reading. Maybe you don't like the music, Bible translation, or carpet color and you think a change would do you good. Maybe you had a run-in with the pastor or someone else. Or maybe you are just not "getting fed." (By the way, even the tastiest morsels require chewing.) If your reason is similar to this second list, there are some things you need to do before you head out and start shopping.

First, check your heart. Are you motivated by selfishness, pride, or hurt pride? Are you running from conflict? (Chances are, you will run into it again at the new church). Have you talked to the pastor, church leaders, and/or the person who hurt you, doing absolutely everything you can to resolve the situation? If you don't you will bring all that baggage with you on your new church hunt and that baggage will taint what you see and you might make a bad decision. For instance, if you don't like the music at the old church, you might jump right into a new church that has the music you prefer. In your desire for your kind of music you might ignore the fact that the pastor preaches things you don't believe and other important elements. one year from now you will be doing it all over again. Also, get some counsel from a few trusted, mature friends. You better know that you know that you know that leaving your current church is the right thing to do.

Okay, so you are looking for churches for all the right reasons. Now what? First of all, what is really important to you? I am not talking preferences. I am talking values. What are the make-or-break issues for you? This is important because you will never find the perfect church. No church will do everything just like you want it done. You will have to settle in some areas. And again, examine your heart. I love music, but music should never be a deciding factor. Now start looking for some churches that value what you value. Ask your friends, coworkers, and neighbors. Spend some time online.

Then start visiting. When I visited 6 churches, I was awestruck with how similar their worship services were. They all sang songs, preached messages, prayed prayers, and gave offerings. Most had coffee. Some had donuts. This means that if you like a church, you will need to dig a little deeper. Drop in on a few advertised events. Ask people there what they like about the church. Then make an appointment with the pastor. Ask him every question you can think of about the things you truly value.

Your church shopping experience should take some time. Too often I see people jump in headfirst only later to find that this church is just not for them. If you have kids, this can be devastating!!!!! Take your time. Pray hard- God really will lead you.

Then, when you know where you are supposed to be, make a commitment, take the vows, and put on the wedding ring- this is a long-term relationship. Invest. Engage. Give. Encourage. Grow. Chew on every bite of food thrown your way and you will be fed.

Don't give up. Don't quit your searching and talk yourself into television-church. Put down the remote, get dressed and go to church. And remember, there is no such thing as a church of one. Still not convinced, pick up your Bible, read Hebrews 10:25, brush your teeth, and go to church. It will be worth it.

My Sabbatical Report

Below is the report I shared with our church board after returning from Sabbatical. Enjoy!

Sabbatical Report

Jason Matters

November 11, 2010

First of all, I want to say thank you to the Church Board and everyone at New Vision Church for granting me a seven week sabbatical. There have been points in the last few years when I felt worn out and discouraged and was reminded that I have seven weeks of rest and renewal coming up- and at times this hope kept me going. Thank you to the sabbatical committee for working so hard over the last few months to prepare for this. Thank you to everyone who accepted additional responsibilities while I was gone.

Did We Meet Our Goals?

Disengagement from regular ministry responsibilities to allow for rest and renewal – Ministry is difficult because it involves significant emotional and mental energy, and physical energy in terms of the number of hours required to do the job well. I believe I was able to completely disengage by only receiving personal email, by not reading my Facebook “home” page, by not receiving calls from church members, and by not having meetings to prepare for or lead. I truly unplugged and rested my mind and emotions.

Extended time to spend with family – Near the end of my sabbatical Erica mentioned how nice it was to have me around for seven weeks without any distractions or meetings, and to have me around on Sunday mornings to help with the kids. I spent a lot of time with my kids. Our plans for our week in Cincinatti changed repeatedly and Erica and I were only able to spend one night at Inkeeper’s Ministry, but we enjoyed that one night. The final week in San Diego with no kids was absolutely wonderful. I am so glad Erica was able to join me. It was the best week of the entire sabbatical! Parenting continues to be a huge challenge for me. As I reflected about my own strengths and weaknesses, I recognized that I am a strong introvert and I cherish alone time. However, alone time often does not exist when you have a toddler and preschooler at home. I underestimated how difficult it would be to rest at home. Erica and I should have communicated more about how I would spend my days.

The Opportunity to visit other churches – I visited 6 churches. Most of them are growing and effectively reaching their communities. Most of them are large to super-large. I enjoyed worshipping without having to lead anything or be in charge of anything. I enjoyed experiencing new environments and experiencing churches from the perspective of the first time visitor. I felt very affirmed- I believe that we offer a very high quality worship experience for our size. And hey, I got to meet my hero, Rick Warren!

Time to reflect on my first seven years in ministry and to discover how to maximize my strengths and address my weaknesses. - I did a lot of thinking. I kept a journal nearby to record thoughts and insights. I participated in one three hour coaching session with Dr. Sondra Cave, a certified strengths consultant and pastor’s wife, and she helped me to see how my strengths can help overcome some of my weaknesses. I am planning to meet with her again in 6 months for follow-up. I also spent a lot of time meditating on 1^st Timothy. God regularly gave me new insights about ministry and myself.

Time to pray and dream about the future ministry at New Vision – In addition to my role as pastor, I thought and prayed a lot about the future of our ministry at New Vision. I believe we need to make some immediate changes. I also have some ideas that I would like to discuss with our church board concerning a revised outreach and growth strategy.

I believe I met the goals for the sabbatical, and I believe that I will be a better pastor because of my experience. I feel refreshed and energized and ready to lead New Vision into the future.

Books I Read

The Strategically Small Church – This book talks about the value of small churches. The author encourages small churches to not see their size as a liability but as a strength, and to make the most of it. Small churches can be: intimate, authentic, nimble, and effective. I read this book because I believe people in Raymore prefer smaller churches and we need to include this in our future growth strategy.

Simple Church – This book talks about the need for churches to simplify their ministries. Churches are tempted to have to many programs to meet every need and demand. However, the authors interviewed hundreds of churches and found that churches with fewer, but more effective programs, produce stronger disciples of Jesus. If we want, we can take the survey to help determine if New Vision is simple or cluttered.

Organic Church – This book really rocked my mind. I love and I hate it. The author presents what I believe is an extreme position on how church should be done. But I believe his basic critique of modern churches is correct: we spend too much time and energy creating high quality, entertaining worship services, and not enough time disclipling those who really love Jesus. He also advocates taking church out of our buildings to places where non-Christians gather- coffeeshops, parks, etc. I think we can gain from his model of doing small groups.

Leading On Empty – This book is about how leaders, especially pastors, need to guard against burn out, and includes some helpful suggestions for how to prevent burnout, including prioritizing your life and ministry objectives, taking Sabbaths and sabbaticals, etc. The author suggests being aware of what activities drain you and what activities energize you. I spent a lot of time reflecting on this for me.

Living Your Strengths – This book is about ministering through your strengths. I completed the Strengthsfinder inventory and attended 2 workshops earlier this summer, then I read this book before undergoing some individual strengths coaching while on sabbatical. This book helped me to understand the strengths-based approach, and it helped me understand my top 5 strengths. Just in case you care, my top 5 strengths are: Learner, Intellection, Analyzer, Input, & Context. This puts me in the “strategic thinking” category, versus the relating, executing or influencing category.

Getting Things Done – This book presents a time management/personal management program to help a person handle multiple projects, tasks, appointments in both work and personal life. The read the first half of the book, which explained the process and tips for preparing to use the system. The second half will instruct me how to implement the system. I will implement the system now that I am back working full-time.

Action Points

During the last two weeks of the sabbatical, I began to compile a list of items that I would like to address as a result of what I have experienced while on sabbatical.

1. I need to NOT lead a L.I.F.E. Group – It was not wise for me to lead 2 groups. I have come to the conclusion that I should not lead any group. When I lead a group, it implies that leading a LIFE group is a pastor-thing. But it is not that complicated. It also takes away another evening, and I only have a few, that I need to spend meeting with people, visiting new families, etc.

2. I will give more time to preaching and teaching – since this is an area of strength, I need to give it the time it deserves. I will schedule times away for advance planning, and I will work to include the input and ideas of others. I also want to work with Beth and the worship team to craft our entire worship services around the themes of the message series.

3. I will schedule regular one-day personal retreats – This comes from the book, Leading On Empty. When I get busy and stressed, I fall into the rut of just getting through the day and through the week. At that point, my creativity as well as my productivity falls. These one day retreats are opportunities for focused reflection, prayer, renewal, and dreaming.

4. I want to read more books – Books are a good source of ideas, challenges, sermon material. This will help me stay fresh and on the cutting edge of ministry.

5. I will implement the Getting Things Done (GTD) personal management system to help me stay focused, relaxed, but productive.

6. As a church, we need to create a Facebook page – One pastor/workshop presenter said that every church should double what they are doing on Facebook, as it is so effective. We need to encourage our people to interact with each other on Facebook, share prayer requests, sermon ideas, pictures, etc.

7. I will learn more about Twitter and examine its possibilities for ministry, connection, and church marketing.

8. I will learn to slow down my thinking, share my thoughts with others in order to gain their valuable input, and not get too far ahead of others with my ideas. This is from the coaching session. I get ideas, think about them and land on my conclusions. Then I get stubborn in thinking I am right. I struggle with bringing people along with me. I am learning to see others’ input as additional sources of information to analyze, thereby producing a better conclusion!

9. I must lead the way in evangelism. We can wait for people to walk through our doors- we have to proactively build relationships with our unsaved friends and neighbors. I must lead by example.

10. I need to start my day with some alone time. When I start my day by rolling out of a warm bed in order to get 1 or 2 kids up for the morning, I set up my family for a bad day. When I get up early and enjoy some alone time, and then get the kids up, I am in a much better mood and I set a better tone for everyone’s day.

11. I will work with Beth and others to keep our worship services 1 hour and 15 minutes. When I visited other churches, I was ready to be done before an hour and a half. Services usually felt too long because of lengthy sermons (Rick Warren preached for an hour and 15 minutes). I think that if we mange our time well, and if I give more time to preaching better messages, we can dismiss by 11:45 and people will not go home worn out, but maybe will want more and feel motivated to get more through participating in other ministries.

12. I will learn more about Life Transformation Groups (LTV’s) and pray about implementing them at New Vision as supplements to our LIFE Groups. This is from the Organic Church book. I believe this will aid in leadership development, deep discipleship, and involvement of more people in groups.

13. I will pray more, read more, and begin to discuss with the board and other leaders an idea I have for how we can effectively reach our city, but in a different way than we have done before. (If I told you any more right now, I would be getting ahead of myself, breaking action point 8)

14. Our city is filled with hurting, broken and lost people who are headed for hell and we all must continue to sacrifice and serve in order to reach them!

Thank you again for the opportunity to enjoy the past seven weeks. I pray that it has been beneficial for New Vision Church, all of our members, and for me and my family.

Let’s continue to talk about our experiences!

My Tribute to Rick Warren

Fifteen years ago this fall I took my first ministry class as a college sophomore. I walked into "Evangelism & Church Growth" and the professor told us that he had recently attended a seminar at a growing church in California and wanted to share it with us. For eight weeks, every Tuesday and Thursday we listened to cassette tapes of the Purpose-Driven Church seminar taught by Rick Warren, filled in the blanks of the photocopied workbook, and read the hardback as the primary text of the class.

Rick, fifteen years ago you came into my life and radically changed the way I approach evangelism and church ministry.

I was hooked before the end of the first tape. I thought, "This makes sense and it is doable." Rick, when you said, "don't copy me," I listened even closer. When you presented the five purposes, I said, "that is very simple." Then when you talked about the need to keep all five purposes in balance and the dangers of imbalance, I said, "yeah, that's right." Then you convinced me that Sunday mornings are the best times to reach the unsaved. The five circles of commitment and the goal of consistent movement to deeper levels of commitment. It all made so much sense, was simple, and seemed easily transferable. You gave me an effective strategy to fulfill my heart's desire, namely to lead others to Christ and help them grow into lifelong disciples.

I talked about you so much that my friends got tired of hearing your name and told me to shut up. (Sorry about that) Then they wrapped aluminum foil around the dust jacket of my PDC book in order to give it the honor it deserved. (They may even have bowed down to it.) I just couldn't understand why they weren't as convinced!

While I was in seminary, I attended and served in a church with a pastor who lead with the purpose-driven principles. After graduation I was called to serve as pastor there and have developed our ministries through the purpose-driven strategy.

Rick, your passion for lost and broken people inspires me to keep reaching out. Your commitment to a clear and simple strategy pushes me to reduce complexity. Your use of acronyms and alliteration makes me laugh. Your humility and down-to-earthness impresses me. You are the real deal and I have talked to several people who affirm that.

Tomorrow morning I will attend the 11:15 service at Saddleback. I have looked forward to visiting for years, but it is a bit of a drive from Kansas City. This week I attended the National Outreach Convention in San Diego, so the visit is now feasible. I am so excited to have the chance to experience Saddleback. I will have by PDC book with me just in case I bump into you and maybe you can sign it for me? (Just think of what those old roommates will say then).

Rick, thank you for your ministry, not only to Saddleback Sam, but to a college kid in Kansas City, and to the world. Thank you for allowing God to use you to help grow his kingdom!

Another church that just wasn't for me

Have you ever seen Norman Rockwell's painting, The Connoisseur? You can see it here. The scene shows a well-dressed man, possibly a businessman, staring at a large abstract painting. I imagine him saying to himself, "I don't get it." If I am standing in his shoes, that is what I am thinking. It is the same with poetry. I don't get it-unless it rhymes. I prefer clear, precise sentences. I tried writing songs- I can't do it. I am too concrete (which, in the world of art, translates to boring. My conclusion: I am not an artist- I am more of an engineer. I am not a poet- I'm so bad with words I can't even think of one right to to contrast poet.

Last Sunday Erica and I visited another thriving church near Westport. (If you are not familiar with Kansas City, Westport features night clubs, artists, and young people who prefer urban bungalows and lofts over suburban split-levels.) This church is not a Nazarene church, but there are tons of Nazarenes who attend. I have heard so much about it I just had to check it out. It is regarded by many as a model emergent/postmodern church. My conclusion? I didn't like it. I know that worship is not about me, and I wrote about that in my last post, but I just couldn't do it this time. I just couldn't connect with God in worship. I loved the architecture of the old building. The candles were cool. The worship band was good. But I didn't know any of the songs and the melodies were impossible to pick up. Erica mentioned that it had the feel of a coffeehouse alt-rock band. It was also a special Sunday for the church- one of their bi-yearly "all-worship" Sunday featuring lots of music and a devotional lead by the worship pastor, so I didn't have the opportunity to experience their preaching.

But still, I just didn't get it. And I think it is because it is a church by and for artists and poets-those who appreciate artistic expression in all forms. And the church is doing a spectacular job reaching this community which is largely ignored by many churches. I applaud their ministry. It is just not me.

Unfortunately, I haven't heard many leaders in the emergent/postmodern discussion address this. Could it be that the artists and poets are comfortable with and even prefer the abstract, the conceptual, diversity of opinion, and paradox. But there is still a large portion of the supposedly postmodern generation who prefer the concrete and practical? I think so.

And if that is so, ministry to Generations X and Y is a lot like ministry to Baby Boomers: It takes different kinds of churches to reach different kinds of people.

I didn't Like This Church

Last Sunday we visited a thriving church in Westport. While it wasn't one of the churches I planned to visit during Sabbatical, I have been there for a few pastors meetings, have talked to several people who worship there and love it, and was invited by a friend who has been attending recently. The lead pastor is an amazing guy in his mid thirties- deep, strategic, and very down to earth. This church is reaching twenty and thirty-somethings by the droves. And they don't hold back- the sermon focused on a passage of Scripture where Paul tells wives to submit to their husbands. The preacher was sensitive to the tension produced by the subject, and he acknowledged the historical and cultural abuses of the text, but preached the text faithfully, practically, and with passion.

While driving home, Erica asked me what I thought. My only response: "I didn't like it." Why? The style of worship just wasn't my thing. Now I am not talking about music, but music is an element of worship. I struggle to genuinely connect with God through a service of worship that might be labeled "formal," "traditional," "Word and Table," "liturgical," "worship renewal," etc. (I am well aware of the multiple meanings and applications of each of these terms, so just imagine a composite of them.) The music featured mostly old and new hymns with only a piano and cello accompaniment. (I am told that the music changes each week, though). Communion followed the preaching. The mood was quiet with low energy. I guess when it comes to worship, I prefer energy and emotion and simplicity. When I have to think hard about the words and phrases I am using to speak to God, I get lost in the words and lose focus on the object of those words, God himself.

But even as I shared my thoughts with Erica, and even now as I write this 3 days later, I feel checked in my spirit. I am talking about worship (a God-centered thing), yet most of my thoughts are me-centered. Isn't that kind of backwards? Yes, it is. It also reveals some selfishness. Worship: it is not about me!

So which is better? Worship that suites me or worship that doesn't? I guess the real question is, what kind of worship does God prefer? Jesus talked about God's desire for worshipers to worship in Spirit and in truth. (John 4) How about an analogy. Worship is often described as an offering given to God- a gift. So when Christmas rolls around, what kind of gifts do I prefer to receive? I like to receive the gifts that are on my list. I feel special when Erica gives me special coffee beans, even though she detests the taste and even smell of coffee (there is just something special about a gift given out of love when the content of the gift is disliked by the giver.) I also really like it when Erica shops for a shirt that she likes but that she knows that I like, too. I think worship is similar. After all, God is a person therefore we are connected to him through a personal relationship, where both parties needs and preferences are important. Granted, he is the master and I am the servant.

Okay, so back to my church visit. Yes, I genuinely worshiped God. Could I do it that way every week? Yes. Should I? I am not so sure. In the end, I still think that God provides different kinds of churches for different kinds of people-all imperfect - and none of them customized around my preferences - but all churches that should help me grow out of my selfishness.

And no, I am not going to tell you what the name of the church was because they are doing such great things for God that I wouldn't want my opinion and experience to sway you.

Note: I think after my final church visit on November 7 I will write a blog entry on how to choose a church- based on my experiences at all of these churches.

Confrontation (1 Timothy 1:5)

I am four weeks into my sabbatical and I just made it past the first chapter of 1 Timothy. There is just so much there. This time I can't get past verse 5. I have worked on it a lot, so here are my thoughts. (I am hoping that blogging my thoughts will help me move on.) Paul left Timothy in Ephesus while he moved on to another region. Evidently, there were some Christians in Ephesus teaching false doctrines, clinging to old myths, and other law-related issues contrary to the gospel. Timothy's job was to teach the truth and to command those men out of their error. Now if you read my previous post, this isn't the same word used in verse 1 when Paul described his calling/command to ministry. But it is still strong. Paul isn't telling Timothy to mildly suggest to these men that they reflect on the possibility of a conversation regarding their potentially erroneous teachings. No. Basically he tells Timothy to order the men to cease and desist. It is a very strong word.

"Thanks, Paul. I'll get right on that. Easy for you to say, Paul. You aren't here to take the beating. They might listen to you, the former Pharisee and law-expert yourself, famed preacher, missionary and elder in the church. I'm just a young buck."

I hate confrontation. It makes me want to vomit just thinking about it. I tend to be a people-pleaser. I want everyone to be happy and I really don't want to make waves. What if they get mad at me and reject me? But sometimes you have to confront. A mentor once told me that if I am not willing to confront when confrontation is needed, I am putting my own desires ahead of what is best for the church. Ouch. So I confront. And then throw up.

What I think is most important for Timothy is Paul's insight into the need for this confrontation. Timothy is working with several wannabe teachers who have lots of words and knowledge, but they are wrong AND are not loving. Their arrogant heresy produces anti-love. So, in verse 5 Paul says, "The goal of this command (the confrontation) is love . . ." He is describing the desired outcome. If these guys take Timothy's command to heart, they will become more loving. Notice that the desired outcome is not just the teaching of truth for the sake of truth. While truth is essential, Paul really wants love. Evidently their teachings were producing controversy within the community of Christ-followers.

So here is my thought: when I confront someone, is my desire for them to be more loving? It is a focus on their future goodness, not their present error. It is a focus on their best interests, not mine. And if they are going to change and become more loving (the result), then the process of the confrontation must also be infused with love. In other words, in the act of confronting and commanding, I must confront and command in love. And if I do that and they reject me, I guess it really is their issue. In the end, it is not about me or for me. Love isn't.

My experience at two very different churches

This weekend I worshiped at 2 different churches. On Saturday night, Erica and I attended Church of the Resurrection, a United Methodist mega-church in neighboring Leawood, Kansas. The music was excellent, the atmosphere was Spirit-filled and relaxed and a bit subdued. Adam Hamilton preached a clear evangelistic message in which he shared his reasons for why he believes in God- it was intellectual (lots of Stephen Hawking references) but also emotional and personal.

On Sunday morning I attended LifeQuest Church, a thriving multi-service, multi-site church in neighboring Belton, Missouri lead by a friend of mine, Chris Pinion. They worship in a remodeled Harley Davidson dealership (what a perfect fit for a church in Belton). The music was energetic and loud and the crowd was not subdued. Pastor Chris preached the first message in a series aimed at speaking specifically to men. The service included arm wrestling, straight talk, and a clear call to follow Christ.

On the surface, these 2 churches are very different. COR ministers to five to ten thousand a weekend (there were probably 800 people at the Saturday night service with us). LQ ministers to maybe 500 per weekend (there were 120 chairs in the worship space). COR's sanctuary is big, bright, kind of quiet, with no food or drink allowed (I had to finish my $1-suggested-donation-coffee in the lobby). LQ is smaller, dark, loud, and coffee-friendly (& free). The sermons were very different in content and delivery, but both perfectly fit the crowd and the message. Both preachers were heard by their audiences. And both were explicitly evangelistic. These pastors are both doing a great job of reaching the people they are intending to reach.

Which did I like better? I can't really say. Personally, I would take my friends at New Vision any day. They are just the best. But I guess I am a little biased.

"But Jason, what if . . ." Okay, okay. I liked the rockin' music at LifeQuest. I liked the intimate feel- and the passion, friendship, and excitement. But the production and flow was better at the Resurrection. I struggled often to sing at both churches. I would have preferred more Bible content teaching at both. So I can't really say which I would prefer . . . I liked them both.

Listen to me- these are the things I liked and didn't like. In the end, who cares about what I like. I don't God does. But these 2 pastors and their churches are reaching people and working hard to lead their people to be 24-7 Christ-followers. Adam and Chris- you guys rock! Thanks for what you do for the kingdom. Sometimes it feels like you are the competition, but I am glad the three of us know we are all on the same team.

Commanded to Minister (1 Timothy 1:1)

During my sabbatical I am looking at Paul's writings to his student and friend, Timothy. Paul acts as a long-distance mentor to his young protege, giving him guidance on the practice of ministry and the health of the minister. I thought it might be a good starting point for reflection during this time away.

I spent most of last week examining the first verse of 1 Timothy. In the NIV, Paul introduces himself as an apostle. Then he shares the source of his apostleship: the command of God. That word "command" stuck in my mind. So I dug a little deeper. I expected to find the common word for command in my Greek New Testament: entole. Nope. He used epitage. Now don't stop reading just because you are not a Greek geek like me. Here is the significance. Paul didn't really need another word. An apostle literally means, "a person who is sent" and you can't be sent unless someone sends you and apostles believed they were sent by God. But Paul tosses in this additional word. And there are two shades of meaning that are important.

First, epitage is a very strong authoritarian word. I hear forced words and see furrowed eyebrows on the face of the command-er. God didn't just suggest an apostolistic ministry as one good career option among others for Paul. God commanded Paul to minister. His options are: minister or disobey. In our culture we bristle at such words. We resist commands and welcome suggestions. And when it comes to God we understandably would rather freely love God than obey him out of obligation and fear. But could it be that Paul wanted Timothy to remember that a call to ministry is not a career suggestion but a command? Then whenever it seemed easier to just give up and quit and sell insurance, he might need to remember that he/we are commanded to minister and to quit is to disobey?

I know that first meaning has a negative slant. But the second half is better. Epitage is a God thing. It is very direct. Paul has been commanded by God himself to minister. It is as if he was called to the general's tent and given special orders directly from the mouth of the general himself. I can hear the words now, "Son, I have chosen you for a mission-critical assignment. . ." Orders directly from the top.

I remember that day myself. Sitting on the wide railing of a porch, rain dripping off the roof above me, in the middle of Big Sandy Camp, when God said, "Jason, I want you to be a pastor. Jason, I want you to be a pastor." Commanded. Orders from the top. epitage.

Addicted to Email

I am one week into my 7 week sabbatical. Last Monday was day one. A crazy day, but a normal Monday for me: Erica works, so I watch the kids all day, do laundry, meals, baths, etc. It didn't feel much like a break from anything. But there were a few sabbatical-like plans already kicking in. In my desire to really step away from ministry for 7 weeks and really rest and re-charge, I knew that I needed to avoid my email. I get several church/work email messages every day- and not just from church members, but from other businesses and organizations. And I knew that seeing the subject line of an email would push my mind to engage, so I asked a trusted friend to check my email for me and then forward only personal emails to me to another account that I rarely use. On Sunday night I changed the settings in Outlook to check only the other account. Goodbye jmatters@juno.com See you in 7 weeks.

So it was Monday morning, right after transferring a load from the washer to the dryer, and I sat down to check my email. Nothing. Right after lunch: nothing. Okay, now the kids are down for their naps: No new mail. After bedtime? Nothing all day. I felt bored . . . unneeded . . . unimportant . . . uninformed . . . lightheaded. I craved an electronic message that might boost my sense of self-importance. Yes, I am addicted. (As it turns out, at least I am not alone. Check out this article in Psychology Today. Wow- I bet I spend a ton of time every day just checking email- even though most of it is junk, spam, or ads for products I won't purchase. And now I discover that I am also investing emotional energy in email. Seems kind of like a waste. I need to get a hold on that and make a change when I get back to regular duty in 6 weeks.

So now it is one week later. We went out of town for the weekend, and because I don't have Internet Explorer installed on my new laptop, I was unable to get online from the hotel. And I didn't even care. Tonight I got online for the first time in days . . . and it feels pretty good.

Sunday Night Reflections

So, we finally made the big announcement: I am going on a 7 week sabbatical this fall! No, it is not a vacation, but I am looking forward to the rest and renewal. If you weren't at church today, I will email everyone the Sabbatical FAQs as well as the proposed schedule. Feel free to ask any questions you might have. Our Sabbatical Committee has worked very hard over the last few months to get everything planned so that we can all have plenty of time to be ready.

Okay, here are a few thoughts on today's message. Are you ready to seriously consider that God lead you to your current place of employment? If that is true, then what are the implications of your attitude at work, your work ethic, and how you treat coworkers and supervisors? Hmmmm- that truth might change a few things, right? So let's think about God a whole lot more this week.

Now I want you to think deeply about something. Take a long look at Ruth 2:20-21. When Naomi says, "He has not stopped showing his kindness . . ." who is she talking about? God or Boaz? What do you think, and why? Share your thoughts in the comment box below.

Have a great week- think about God!

Monday Reflections (a few thoughts on Sunday)

Yesterday's topic was faithfulness. Several of you asked about the movie clip I used to intro the message. It was the opening scene in Hope Floats (from about 1998). Yes, that is the movie with Harry Connick Jr.

Before you run out and rent it or download from Netflix, please hear me out. What you will find throughout the movie is unfaithfulness and a whole series of bad decisions that will inevitably lead to further pain. Movies do a great job of illustrating the pain and hurt resulting from the decisions of others, as well as from our our choices. Rarely, however, does a movie provide the solution- for the solutions is always and ultimately found in Jesus Christ. In the movie, (warning- spoiler ahead) Berttie (Sandra Bullock's character) living with her mom in her old hometown, crosses paths with a former boyfriend, Justin (Harry Connick Jr.'s). Within a few scenes they spend the night together- while she is still married to her cheating husband. Not exactly God's plan. Not exactly the way to start a relationship that will be based on trust, respect, and faithfulness.

If you want to see real faithfulness- a true tear-jerker, you need to watch this video. This is the real thing. This is true faithfulness- the kind you have been looking for your entire life. And if you have 2 hours to watch Hope Floats- surely you can find 5 minutes to watch this.

The Robertson McQuilkin story of true faithfulness: http://www.tangle.com/view_video?viewkey=228dd8d3ebb664623220

"Black" "Red" and "White" by Ted Dekker- my review

If you enjoy quality Christian fiction featuring action, suspense, and maybe even a bit of fantasy (well, okay more than a bit), this is the book and series for you. I just finished reading all three books within "The Circle Trilogy" series by Ted Dekker. What can I say? Action. Adventure. Suspense. Some politics. Lots of theology. And then, true to Ted Dekker, a Christ-character who will impress and offend you.

I will admit that I am not a fan of fantasy books. I enjoyed the Lord of the Rings series, but then I was ready for something else. I guess I need a little more of this world to keep my mind from wandering too much. Dekker's series features a lot of our present-day, earthly world. But he also portrays another world.

The main character is a struggling twentysomething named Thomas Hunter. While running from men with guns who want him to settle his debts, he hits his head and begins to "dream" and then doesn't stop. His "dreams" take him back and forth between this world and another, where metaphor is reality.

Ted's purpose seems to be to always tell God's story in a new and fresh way while staying true to the story of Scripture of creation, the fall, redemption in Christ, and the mission of the church. I have to admit, the character of Justin totally threw me for a loop! Ted has a way of making me think. At times I wonder about the source of his incredible and sometimes twisted imagination, but his story is true to the heart of God!

Not much into reading? Well turn off your television, get a copy of "Black" (the first book) and give yourself about an hour or so to really get into the book. Trust me, this is way better than any episode of CSI. Horatio Cain's got nothing on Thomas Hunter. And no cheesy one-liners either!