Thursday, August 20, 2009

I Should Have Parked Closer To the Exit


Yesterday afternoon I stopped at Lowe's to pick up some batteries and a replacement ballast. At the Raymore Lowe's one enters the parking lot from the side of the store, driving past the nursery and live goods first and then towards the main entrance doors. There are two sets of doors at this particular store. The first set are the entrance doors and then farther down there is a set of exit doors. And it always seems like the two sets of doors are miles apart. As I scanned the lot to find a parking space I noticed that there were several great and close spaces available near the exit doors. But parking in them meant walking the distance back to the entrance doors. The parking spaces in front of the entrance doors were closer to the doors but were farther into the lot.

I was in a hurry, so I picked the space closest to the entrance door. I mean, I really needed to get in there quickly. Really, I did. I was in a hurry after all.

A few minutes later, while standing in the checkout line, I heard the rain begin to ping on the metal roof overhead. The pinging turned into a roar as the rain fell harder and harder. I had no umbrella, no rain coat, and no time to wait for the rain shower to pass. I paid for my batteries and ballast, walked out the exit doors, and realized that my car was parked in front of the entrance doors- a mile or so away!

Then the thought hit me: I should have parked closer to the exit. I didn't. I chose the option that was the quickest and easiest at the time. I got really wet.

In his bestselling book, Stephen Covey shares that one of the seven habits of highly successful people is that they plan and act with the end in mind. They might say to themselves, "The clouds are pretty dark. Even though it is not raining now, it might start before I complete my shopping. Maybe I should park closer to the exit doors and take the long walk now instead of later."

So I wonder- when will I learn? Will Olivia graduate from high school, drive off to college and leave me thinking, "I should have parked closer to the exit." Will I arrive at the end of my life, facing some incurable disease and think, "I should have parked closer to the exit."

I have some learning to do.

Monday, August 10, 2009

God Must Be Punishing Me - additonal thoughts

As we sang the final song yesterday morning in church, I looked and noticed a few sad faces. As I reflected, I realized that they are the ones dealing with very difficult circumstances- whether it is broken relationships, financial hardships, etc. Then when I thought about my message that day, I realized that there wasn’t much “good news.” You know, I really try to balance every message with good news and bad news. The Bible is full of both challenge and comfort, conviction and compassion. I wonder if I didn’t explain things very well.

If you are going through a difficult time, it does not mean that God sent that difficulty to you. There is a difference between God sending and God allowing difficult times. If you lose your job, it is not necessarily because God prompted your boss to fire you. However, God may have allowed your boss to exercise his freedom to fire you. Just because God didn’t stop him doesn’t mean that God told him to do it. And this is the essential issue when people say, “God must be punishing me.” They assume that God sent this bad thing into your life. But remember, just because something bad has happened to you does not mean that God sent it. This includes the “discipline” that I talked about. God may not have sent this bad thing to discipline you or teach you a lesson. However, since you are experiencing it, he will use it to help you grow into greater maturity.

That leads me to the second thing to add to my message. Sometimes the consequences we deal with- natural, relational, and even legal, are the results of other’s actions. If someone else throws a rock at you, you are the victim of natural consequences of the laws of inertia and momentum.

Finally- when someone says, “God must be punishing me,” they often look for what they did wrong to deserve it. If God did not send the punishment or discipline, then you may not have done anything wrong. But don’t let yourself off the hood too easily. In every relationship, in every decision, there are things we could have done better- so there is always something to learn and somewhere to improve.

In the end, I would encourage anyone facing a difficult situation to put more energy into figuring out the “what” question, and less energy into figuring out the “why.” Ask yourself, “What should I do now? What can I learn from this? What can I do differently next time?” Don’t spin your wheels for very long by asking, “why did this happen.” Just wait until you get to heaven, and then you will have lots of time for him to explain why.